Wendy, we know you desire us but we are not coming over at 6am...That's how we got started on a Monday...Things kicked off with a bit of a scuffle with Jane's Addiction...A few men won a Nobel Peace Prize for discovering that some mammals breathe through their back door...Tito Jackson didn't make it...We lost Tito at 70yrs old...A substitute teacher was caught auditioning his hand puppet during periods in a school...Is there a marine biologist in the house? Sea otters are on the attack...Johnny checked back in after his vacation, and of course he had an otter story...Another assassination attempt happened with former president Donald Trump yesterday...He was unharmed...Thanks to TikTok people are purchasing and eating dirt and clay...We are #1...The USA is officially the fattest it has ever been...Please do not steal someone's meatloaf sandwich...A woman wanted to teach her co-workers a lesson...Someone kept stealing her food so she put laxative in the sandwich and found out quickly who the culprit was...Take a lemon...Maybe a pitcher...Maybe even some money...But the kids' whole lemonade stand? That's what happened to a young kid who just wanted to make a buck and buy a dirt bike...We were at the Melissa Etheridge show over the weekend and we reminisced as she took us through her journey through womanhood...It was quite hot and heavy...She enjoyed our dirty French Broad...Friar tummy tuck is a problem...A friar embezzled close to a million dollars for plastic surgery...The traffic has been a nightmare this morning for people...The world's oldest cat has died at 33 years old...If you are looking for a long lasting relationship just make your way to Butte, Montana...That's BUTTE Rizzo...Not Butt...Did I do that?!?! Jaleel White says doing the Steve Urkel ruined his vocal cords...If you misplaced your ketamine at the Dulles airport, just call the TSA...Don't misplace this Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!