Joseph Wheeler, the new mascot, is MIA. On top of that the 4th graders had a gang war. It happens. It's possible that the hall monitor was involved. But good news; we have the license to use Minions in Jambalaya School plays! The school is being remodeled. The teachers' lounge is not being remodeled, though. Nor will it ever. EVER. I went through the lost & found pile and SHEESH there's some weird stuff in there. Stop hiding milk in the lockers! 

Safe Space Jam lyrics
Everybody get up, it's time to commence
Sentences that start by saying 'no offense'
Welcome to safe space jam
It's your moment, I won't foment, at safe space jam, alright

Come on and respectfully slam
And welcome to the all-inclusive jam.

Hey, you, whatcha gon' do?
I know it's not my business to
Know what you gonna do
I'll shut my mouth and not assume

Trigger warnings in the house, let's go
I'm a gender neutral ally, yo
Pass that thing, watch me respect
Treat me the same, that's what I expect
To the jam, give you some space
Call you ma'am, but try to save face
Apologize up and down the room
I've been woke since I left the womb
So work that body, sell that body, just don't disrespect nobody
Scroll through Tumblr, lose your mind
Demand justice from those you find
Hey, Admin, check it out 
SJW scream and shout
Come on, y'all check out my page, it's a blank screen so you can't rage

Everybody get up, unless you're chair-bound
You can stay seated or rolling now, welcome to safe space jam
It's your chance for wheelchair ramps, at safe space jam, alright

Wave your paws in the air if your fursona's feline, 
We got a litter box scented pine
Welcome to Safe Space Jam 
It's your chance for Facebook rants at Safe Space Jam, alright

Slam bam, thank you, person, 
I don't assume genders--damn
If you see me in the Twitter-sphere, let me opine in your ear
(Tweet!) C'mon c'mon let's start a thread
(Tweet!) Vegans, normies, let's break bread
(Tweet!) Comment below, speak your mind
(Tweet!) Just bring the facts before you whine
(Just scroll!) Just scroll up and down my page
(Just scroll!) You don't have to act your age
Anime girl as my profile pic, please take the time to read my fan-fic
(Jam on it!) Jam on my toast
(Jam on it!) Jam between my toes
If you got pics of your feet n' hands, feel free to advertise your OnlyFans

Everybody get up, unless you're obese
Wipe the perspiration in your belly crease 
And log in to Safe Space Jam
Find romance in stretchy pants at Safe Space Jam, alright 

Wave your hands to and fro- if-your-self-esteem-is-low
[Pause on first beat]Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself
Welcome to safe space jam
Go with grace, move your pace
At safe space jam, alright

Hey non-binaries! (Yeah)
Y'all ready to stop? (No)
Y'all wanna know why? (Why)
IT'S TIME TO SLAM JAM

Hey gender fluids! (Yeah) 
Y'all ready to stop? (No)
Y'all wanna know why? (Why)
IT'S TIME TO SLAM JAM

Hey anxiety-ridden people! (What now)
Y'all ready to stop? (Please don't make me decide) 
Y'all wanna know why? (I regret waking up today)
It's time to SLAM JAM
Hey deaf people! 
Y'all ready to stop? 
Y'all wanna know why? 
It's time to SLAM JAM

Every body get up, (in talking voice) it's just about time to slam
We got a real jam going now, and you don't want to be stuck in the consessions line while this thing is going on. It's your chance...to find your seat. And enjoy the safe space jam. We went to a LOT of trouble putting this on. 
Aaand i think you would be remiss if a salted pretzel accompanied by yellow #5 cheese...made you miss it. 
I'm just saying.
Respectfully.