Gerald Fitzgerald isn't the best mascot, but we're finding a use for him in the upcoming Harvest Dance. Speaking of which, our late shop teacher, Mr. Johnson, will be attending...as a cadaver. His widow will be dressing him up and posing him for pictures. It will be so much fun. Be sure to adhere to the dance move regulations! I'm serious. Our smart, tallented, nepotism student, Maximillian Engvalde, will be bragged about in this episode. His parents gave us money to talk him up. But I swear we would do it anyway even if we weren't paid. I swear it on someone's mother's life. Principal Fendleton has returned from her excursion as a Street Fighter. Thanks to our sponsors: Fitbitch, The Scouring Plaid Shirt, and Budweiser. The music for this episode was performed by AR who you can find at www.AngelRapE.bandcamp.com. This month Vice Principal Mr. Jonesandmi performed Cavity, a parody of John Mayer's Gravity. Lyrics: Cavity has found it's way into my teeth. Cavity has turned my smiles to frowns. Guess I'll never chew on M&Ms. I won't suck your Ring Pop gems. I'll dream of licking Jaw Breakers all day. Cavity has mined tunnels deep in me. And cavity gave me a gold crown. Oh, the plaque is gone. The tooth it bare. 'Cause it was mauled by a gummy bear that made its den and hibernates in me. Oh, I brushed you once then brushed you off. Now a waterpick is not enough. I'll learn to floos and love dental hygiene. Oh, cavity, you're filling me with anxiety. Oh, cavity, I now regret going fluoride-free—my dentist weeps. Just keep me where fluoride is. I'll stave off gingivitis and periodontitis. Just keep me where fluoride is. I'll stave off gingivitis and periodontitis.