Gentlemen lets think about that sinking feeling of weakness weve all experienced
when life is wrenched from our control....

the death of a loved one...the loss of a job....the car wont start....last months bill
is due...and,,,, oh yeah.... the car wont start because it needs a new engine....dammit

cant seem to win for all the bullshit losses....

and it becomes hard....its overly difficult to FEEL like much of a man
when the tenacity of
life throws cheap shots... harder than mike tyson....

....and I believe thats a fair comparison....who hasn't felt like they've been knocked off
course due to an unforeseen blow....a hard punch to the gut...

its those situations that steal your breath,,,,that smother your will to overcome...
....its those moments when giving up seems a HELL of a lot easier than confronting the difficulties....

and surely you know what im talking about....surely weve all encountered that devastating shot to our naive
perception of how things SHOULD be....... in contrast to how they actually are

and upon first encoutering the undue atrocitries of life...those good ol moments
when life, god, big bang and the universe jump from behind the bushes...
and shout....gotcha mother fucker....

its easy,,,,and almost expected to pull out the big ol fat victim card...

and ive previously mastered the art of feeling sorry for myself....hell i was so good, i could have fit
....in with these nancy leftists crying oppression all the time....

heres my fucking card...victim mode...established upon my first breakup

and WHY was i feeling sorry for myself....WHY WAS i choosing weakness over the opportunity to be strong....

and the answer lies in this....life is not fair and i should never expect it to be.....

what had I been expecting.....

lets seriously think about that...hell man that saying in one fashion or another
has dropped on our ears all throughout our lives....lifes not fair

but for some reason we come to believe that WE ARE the exception...as if we hold the get out of
jail free card...that the easy path is ours and those other assholes in life...well
they can take the difficult path

but as for me...i carried the entitled mindset....well you should know im different.....im special

and its that very egotistical ignorance that destroyed much of my adult life

.......in truth i was a weak ass kid PRETENDING i knew something about being a man

lets be perfectly honest....i knew shit....probably even less than shit....whatever that may be...
subtract it by 50 and thats proportioante to what i actually knew bout life....fucking zilch...

and so among all the kicks to the balls i encountered over my life....it was a breakup
that gave me that eye opening perception of..... life isnt fair and i should never expect it to be....

becasue while snotting and snobbing, slobbery naieve emotions all over the damn dark room...
i was apparently dying in.....

i came to the realization....."that chick is out living her best life...and i loved her....
and as that train raced circles through my thoughts....

its not fair...its just not fair....hell this isnt fucking fair....i begin to register how unfair life literally is

....SHIT and horrible shit for all intents and purposes....happens every single day
....to both the good, the bad,,,the deserving and the undeserving a like.....

i recognized i'm not special,,,i WASNT the exception in the sense that i was invincible to lifes harshness....

...lifes not fair,,,,, and i remember feeling a huge sense of relief....i didn't have to be freaking perfect
anymore...death could happen...my engine could blow up,,,,that skank could leave me even though im PERFECT....

and yeah well, i was still egotistical and full of myself...one step at a time...

but i began to understand that life is difficult...its ever changing and fleeting....its not this linear and unilateral process
....theres billions of people with billions of decisions that impact even me...

the guy decides to rob the bank and while I'm getting ice cream across the street his sporadic shooting at the police
pursuing him....strikes me in the neck.....leaving me paralyzed.....

my gf wakes up and decides...life is short and she wants something different... and she decides posting tik tok
videos about feminism is the way to go.......good luckwith that....

but theres so much shit out of my hands,,,,my control....and to be SO FULL of myself to think i
was or am the exception,,,,is the epitome of stupidity....

its the very definition of weakness if you ask me...

and as ive circled around what it means to be a man....or to be a stoic...or to just be a more resilient person
.....ive realized my ultimate duty is to remain strong amidst all situations....

to be attached to something or someone in a way that defines you as SOLEY... connected to them
is a boobie trap....its gonna always set you up for failure

because again.... life is not fair and life is constantly changing....

so write it on your forehead,,,,tattoo it on your hand....plaster that shit across you car hood....
but every day come to understand..... life isnt fair and you dont expect it to be....

and again this doesn't mean you become some cold hearted asshole....quite the contrary....you actually begin to respect
and love life more....because you expect the unexpected....you learn to appreciate what you have now

for the temporary way you CAN possess it as it currently is....knowing all things come and all thins go

.....the weak man will fall apart when things change....because hes a slave to the "life is fair mindset

...the strong man knows that its his duty to remain strong during the course of trying times
.....because it continues to prepare him for the realities of life.....the harsh unexpecting things

people die...relationships end...
engines blow up.....and the weak fall to pieces but the strong continue to live life

not with a disapproving resentment....but with an appreciation for truth...wisdom...and the strength
that enables them to endure the breakups,,,,the losses and the years when the imbeciles run the country

hell news flash,,,,thats every year....probably and most likely

buut i choose to remain strong and composed....ill date again and ill vote again....because im stronger than
ignorance...

love and respect

you will hear from me next episode