Characteristics

“Toxic parent” is an umbrella term for parents who display some or all of the following characteristics:

Self-centered behaviors. Your parent may be emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or perhaps uncaring when it comes to things that you need. It may feel like all situations return to the same question: “What about ME?”

Physical and verbal abuse. Abuse may not always be hitting, yelling, threats, or something totally obvious either. You may encounter more subtle abuse like name-calling, shifting of blame, silent treatment, or gaslighting.

Controlling behaviors. Toxic parents may invade your privacy or not allow you to make your own decisions. Or maybe they’re overly critical and controlling of your decisions, even as an adult.

Manipulative behaviors. Your parent may try to control you by using guilt or shame to play with your emotions. Toxic parents may even hold time, money, or other items as pawns in their manipulation game.

Lack of boundaries. Toxic parents tend to push and push and push to get their way. As you tire from their tactics, you may simply give in to ideas or situations out of exhaustion or frustration.

Outbursts and bad days are perfectly normal for anyone to have, including parents. But if the behaviors you remember from your childhood are constant or have some type of pattern, you may want to take a second look at how they impacted the person you have become.


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