Top Ten Black Ops Moments #3
10.) A collaborator/spy brings an author I met at a panel years ago as a date to her show. But why? Best not to engage.
9.) An agent I queried called me and echoed confidential statements I made in a query to a completely different agent, then offers to vet my book for $5,000.
8.) I came up with and recorded the idea to sing Gregorian covers of popular hits a full year before The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu started doing it. Clearly Scientology hired a creative on the show to steal the idea from my private garageband files just to make me slowly lose my sanity.
7.) Kind of flattered by this one but a probable Scientology spy stole my academic analysis of Froot Loops as a symbol of rich white feminist fragility to create the iconic Froot Loops scene in Jordan Peele’s “Get Out” because Jordan Peele is unwittingly surveilled by Scientology through Elisabeth Moss and the cast of “Girls” by Lena Dunham, who Bill Clegg thanked in his book.
6.) My landlord offered $400 for me to find a room mate to fill a vacant room. Every time I posted on Craigslist, the person tried to make me late for work and then never showed up. Previously I was amazing at filling rooms using Craigslist. Then my landlord put someone in the room who trolled me with neurolinguistic programming for two months, probably wanted to get me to develop a drinking habit, and possibly planted a roach bomb.
5.) A subway conductor literally changed the route of the train I was on to Grand Central Station, to mockingly correspond with an email I had satirically just sent about “plans to centralize my power”. A man follows me off the train with a creepy passing mention just coincidental enough to reference my show but just mundane enough to also suggest that I might be forming delusional projections like Leonardo DiCaprio in Shutter Island. Might this have anything to do with the MTA’s link to Scientology private investigator Dan Ribacoff?
4.) A long time collaborator puts an idea that I had written in my private notes and shared with no one into his screenplay. Then he invites me to read a tiny role in the reading as a form of psychological warfare.
3.) Why is my co-worker who I only see at work repeatedly singing a not very well known song that I passive aggressively played through the apartment while my partner and I were going through our separation in 2016?
2.) Why did my first roommate on Lefferts Place, after I moved out of my partner’s apartment in 2016, claim Twitter founder Jack Dorsey was in our living room? Why did it seem like the landlord had my room mate/leaseholder tell me a story about the land lord’s son being shot to death in their living room and then abruptly deliver a notice that we had to move out because I didn’t react sympathetically enough?
1.) I've lost track of whether that was Black Ops Moment Number 9 or Black Ops Moment Number 10 but either way it's far too many. Happy 2022 everybody.