⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING - SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ARE DISCUSSED⚠️

If you are having thoughts of suicide please consult the NHS suicidal thoughts webpage.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

NOTES:

Thoughts of a suicidal thinker #2

Hello world and welcome to Bipey Fox

Thoughts of a suicidal thinker mark 2

This should hopefully be slightly less heavy than the first episode.

This was written the day after the last recited piece was written on the 28th December 2019

And it’s called the joker.

The Joker

He is vicious violent veracious and unkind, he pokes his head from round the unlit corners of doom that fill the entirety of the entity you call life. He laughs and cries and poses the question why. It’s dark for days, he lets the light in and before you wake you know the pain regains. They will see the improvement followed by the darkened innards, it’s not plain sailing, you’re good, you’re bad, you can’t laugh but then it comes, the smile as rye as microwave meals, you can’t see me inside, you never have, if you see positivity know that it’s strength, making everything ok is not the change, the change is consistency, remember that the push and pull is a greater fate than suicide. That would be the easy way believe me. That would end the pain, strain, complaints of feeling this way. Just one step in front of the train switches off the brain. Just one jump from the hill makes it all still. Just one shot and everything is forgot. I promise you the strength is there to not do it. You see strength in a smile but know that it’s ripped to shatters on the inside. You can’t hide. You can’t fly away. You can’t just feel better. If I could I would. The strength comes in fighting it. That black filthy beast is strong, long and powerful. It seeps the light from your soul, leaves you breathless and forces you to the dirtied ground of which you stand. To smile is a victory but it’s not the best of me, consistency brings the light back that you’ve lost for months, it’s coming, but the beast plays before it’s feast. Once it’s bored your back to the norm. It’s coming. I can feel it, but the true feeling is yet to be felt, these were the cards you’ve been dealt. Get on with it.



Most psychiatric disorders - symptoms can be something that causes significant suffering/distress

Having just experienced England losing the Euros final,

Clear to see

Lot of people distressed

Those who maybe don’t suffer mentally still felt a sense of loss

Have a heart for those who may have been feeling so low that the result last night made them even lower

Pain is incomparable

Remember that no one can walk in anyone else’s shoes so always be compassionate, kind and understanding

None of us know what anyone else is going through

Keep smiling

Stay good