In this episode of The Observatory, James ‘Fish’ Gill joins the show to talk about the delicate art of finding balance in relationships, particularly when dealing with challenging conversations. James, a Perth-based transformational expert in Australia, specializes in heart coaching, yoga instruction, and facilitation. He dedicates his expertise to helping couples, businesses, and community organizations rebuild trust, strengthen connections, and foster mutual understanding. As a heart coach, yoga instructor, and facilitator, James shares his insights on conscious communication, emotional management, and rebuilding trust in various relationships. He delves into the complexities of processing difficult topics, the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions, and the power of understanding our partner's true intentions. 

Timestamps

[02:01] Conscious communication in relationships
[08:00] Taking the responsibility for cleaning up your side of your street
[10:45] The difference between speaking analysis and speaking our experiences
[20:09] Handling our emotions during communication in our relationships
[21:05] Assuming ill intent in your partner
[28:51] Condemning and condoning in conscious communication
[32:41] Trusting that your partner has no ill intent
[35:07] Unskillful ways in which we express our love and support for each other
[40:55] Understanding what your partner is longing for other than making you suffer
[45:18] Mechanisms that amplify conflict
[47:50] Even mindedness in relationships
[51:04] How to get someone to recognize your goodness
[01:00:50] Fish Gill’s closing remarks
[01:06:10] About Gill’s book - How To Fall In Love With HumanityNotable

Quotes:

• “I don’t have any agency over what anyone else does or says or thinks or feels ever in any moment; I’ve only got agency or control over what I’m thinking, feeling, saying and doing.” - Fish Gill [05:41]
• “How we contribute to conflict and how we sustain it and how we even escalate it actually lies out of our view until we start to see it.” - Fish Gill [08:42]
• “Speaking to emotions is really the way to go.” - LaRae Wright [16:59]
• “There is no quicker way to escalate rapture than to assume the badness of someone.” - Fish Gill [21:55]
• “Human beings are motivated partly by needing our pain expressed, needing our pain diminished or needing our pain tasted by others.” - Fish Gill [33:57]
• “Victim and villain story is there in our psychology for the purpose of having our pain recognized.” - Fish Gill [59:30]

Relevant links:

Fish Gill Website: https://www.leadbyheart.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/james_fish_gill/

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