Joe Cordell, Co-Founder of his company with his wife, is an attorney in Missouri who represents the largest domestic relations firm in the U.S., with a presence in 42 states, 300 attorneys, and who represents about 96% male clients. Joe maintains dadsdivorce.com, mensdivorce.com, and mensrights.com. There are helpful resources such as a YouTube channel, Tips to Be a Better Co-Parent, and a Back to School Co-Parenting guide.Some ideas that emerged from the episode include the following.

In the 19th Century men were favored in awarding custody because they earned money and had the means to support children. Whereas, women generally did not because they did not work outside the home. In the second half of the 20th Century the bias switched to women being favored as the primary nurturer and women entered the workforce along with a rise in divorce rates. The Tender Years presumption said that a young child was better with a mother. Sometimes the age was seven or ten years old for a child and the mother was awarded custody. Since the late 1980s the Tender Years presumption fell into disfavor and the Supreme Court ruled that the presumption was illegal. Nonetheless, it is still not a level playing field for men and it was not necessarily the interest of the child that was at stake The scene is different today because of the capacity of the courts to move money around. Male clients often think that since they have the ability to earn money they would get primary custody. Their assumption is not true. Today, it is a simple administrative matter, a division of labor, and we have the legal machinery to move money from a man to the hands of a nurturing mother. The fact that a man is earning money does not provide him an edge but as a matter of fact it is a detriment. As a wage earner the man has additional responsibilities. In particular, doctors, lawyers, and high profile demanding career individuals are at a disadvantage. A mother who has a low-level job or no job is at an advantage. Divorce is a messy business and that is why all the major religions discourage the practice. Men in their late 40s early 50s are vulnerable to having an affair, often in the workplace, and although stereotypes may be fading it was a common occurrence. A man would often be attracted to a woman 5 to 10 years younger which led to a divorce. Men in their 30s would have younger children which meant custody was a primary point of contention. In any case, parents are human being with a responsibility to rise above their emotions and think of the children’s best interest. In situations where the mom has met somebody and she wants to move on she uses a phrase such as `I love you but I'm not in love with you.’ This a red flag to a divorce lawyer. When the guy has been in jail for three weeks after a brawl you don't have to wonder why he might be receiving divorce papers.When a women initiates the action she's saying to him let's do this in a business like fashion, there's no need to waste money on lawyers. The plan is take the children and I will need child support, some maintenance, and the better half of the property.Not surprisingly, guys in such circumstances are disinclined to be cooperative with that life plan. Primary decisions that need to be made are physical and legal custody. If mothers will get the majority of time with children, physical custody, legal custody include both parents. Legal custody means the ability to make major decisions in the children’s lives that affect health, education, and religion.50-50 parenting is more complex that it appears at first glance. It’s not as though parents have 100 acres and the solution is to simply give each party 50 acres. In Kentucky with 50-50 parenting there has been less conflict and fewer cases to include attorneys. To co-parent for life appears ideal but in Judge’s chambers an attorney may come in stating that the other partner is crazy. A Judge may conclude it is not the child’s best interest to agree to co-parenting. States were considered quasi-independent entities and it was formerly difficult to do anything constructive if a parent absconded to another state. States have adopted a uniform statute agreeing to cooperate in enforcing Court orders. It is more common in these circumstances for parents to be charged with kidnapping, prosecutors are more engaged, and Social Service agencies have gotten more involved. A tactic has emerged where a partner is accused of physical or mental abuse and it works against a litigant. Sexual abuse is less of a weapon today than in the 1990s but an Order of Protection is also used, is effective, and easier to obtain since it requires less evidence. They physical size of men works against them and Protection is easy to believe as a result. Men generally agree or it can inhibit other aspects of his life, job, career, owning a gun, or in other ways. Men agree without admitting guilt. Judges are also protecting their careers since they do not want to be the one who did not protect a weaker individual against a larger person. There is no movement to protect a gender, men, and this could be the civil rights issue of our time. There is little incentive to assist men unfairly treated in the courts. A guardian ad litem often does not work because they have an undue influence over the treatment of children. Bear in mind the guardians come from a list that a judge has. Sometimes it is up to the discretion of the judge, or they are simply rotated, but the guardian often has more credibility to the judge. Inviting a their party in a contested case does not necessarily help a client. They can be a wild card. Parental alienation is a huge problem and may be graphic or subtle but often difficult to prove. Parents can engage in the practice simply by their words, intonation, and hints to negatively impact children.

Mick, The Doctor of Digital, Smith mick.smith@wsiworld.com
Burning America: In the Best Interest of the Children?
https://burning-america.com
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/G-Mick-Smith/e/B0B59X5R79
Also at Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and Target

Leave a message for The Doctor of Digital:
https://podinbox.com/thedoctorofdigitalpodcast

Instagram: burningamericacommunity

Patreon burningamericacommunity:
https://www.patreon.com/SmithConsultingWSITheDoctorofDigitalPodcast

Listen, subscribe, share, and positively review The Aftermath:
https://www.podpage.com/the-aftermath-the-epidemic-of-divorce-custody-and-healing-1/he-saidshe-said-the-one-about-getting-involved-in-parental-alienation-legislation/

Substack:
https://micksmith.substack.com/

Commercials Voice Talent || Narratives Voice Talent

Do you want a free competitive analysis for your business?

Make an Appointment
https://app.hubspot.com/meetings/mick-smith

Be sure to subscribe, like, & review The Doctor of Digital™ Podcast

Sign up for the Doctor Up Your Life course

Facebook || Instagram || Twitter || LinkedIn || YouTube