hey everybody Welcome to the budoir oh God what a week of marketing and thinking about you know the internet and all that rubbish I mean I've just got sick of it today I've got absolutely sick of it so I'm going to have a few weeks of just being creative and being a bit obnoxious I think you have to be obnoxious because what happens when you when you start to try and navigate your way through your own marketing and your own um promotion your own self image you just get or I personally get just so bloody confused because I mean I'm sure they use AI now don't they they must you they must ask AI what will the audience think if I do such and such um and it's you're in a prison if you start thinking like that um so I just want to make some bloody art you know um so just making you know the t-shirts is very creative and of course my book my book of imer so I was quite pleased I've got seven stars and I want to remember my first Seven Stars I think one of them might be me I starred myself um for you know what I predict will be in about 10 years a very very very famous Hollywood or Bollywood movie you know I'm I mean I'm pretty sure I really I you've got to feel like that if you make a piece of art be you know that's the one fundamental is if you think it's bloody brilliant then you've really got nothing to worry about and well I mean you might not make any money of course and I seldom make money for things that I think are amazing in fact i' I'd say that I've never made any money from doing anything that I thought was super duper I'm I do not have my finger on that pulse the mainstream it's it the mainstream and commercialism has evaded my my understanding since I was born isn't that amazing I'm 61 and I still don't [ __ ] get it it's like what what what do you mean that's nice what do you mean you're going to buy that when it's so rubbish but that's that's the nature of the Beast isn't it um and as for the art world I mean the art if you haven't made it onto somebody's investment list for what because it's all about investment it's nothing to do with Aesthetics I was thinking about this today because I'm more of a designer when it comes to designing the t-shirts obviously it's you know if I do a painting I'm not going to put it on a t-shirt it's a different um it's a different beast but I'm when I'm doing the pixel paintings I call them pixel paintings because I work with my electric my digital pen and procreate all the time and I'm just moving pixels around as if they were paint it's very similar the way I the way I do it um because I've been a you know a hand artist for 60 years and now I work with a combination of things I mean the other day I did something really nice I took photos of my latest painting which was a a a 3D sculptural thing I took photos of it and I put that into my Ai and I blended it with another artwork which was a line drawing and I got all these really interesting things so the Rejuvenation of my back catalog is going to be immense and what I've been finding is that I can put those on T-shirts because they make quite interesting stuff if you fuse a photograph with a line drawing these really weird things start to happen I really like it and and then I take it into procreate and then I then I draw more with it but it's all done digitally and I think it really has a a place you know in in my world anyway it has a place um so I will be releasing some some really good digital canvases but probably not till next year now because I'm too busy um so yes I've been struggling with navigating my reputation as um on the internet and how to avoid the male gaze and the male judgment and why do I want to avoid male Jud judgement it's because maess is is all about you know the marketing is male it's all mail and I mean all they market for us is makeup but all other marketing you know the marketing of your your band your music catalog the marketing of your artworks unless you were discovered and and people are investing in you it's all about the mail gaze all of it Google's not interested in you unless you've got something that interests the mail gaze so I've noticed and this sounds really um obscure but I've noticed if I show my neck I get more hits just my neck so it's skin it's just skin um and then of course the lower I go the more attention I get and it's the same with you know your your ankles I mean the victorians had this correct they were they you know that the the ankles were really um erotic so if you show a bit of ankle especially if it's got a high heel on you'll get lots of attention on the internet because Google is marketing themselves through you through your skin and through the male gaze right and even if women are clicking on that picture they're clicking on it because they are aware of the male gaze and they want a bit of the action so they might want the shoe or they might be jealous or they might just think I want ankles like that or they might think um oh nice ankles I wish I could have those or they might think my ankles are better than that but it's all through the lens of the male gaze all of it every every single bit of it so then if you work up and you show a bit of knee I mean I I was I watch you know Sky News sometimes and there's somebody chatting to to or not so much K Burley because she doesn't she doesn't tend to flash her legs but quite often someone will be talking to some you know being interviewed or whatever and the camera does a wide shot to show knees and just above the knees in a skirt and and I'm thinking why are they doing that why the [ __ ] are they doing that well they're doing that because because people want to see that and that's through the mail gaze because I don't want to see that I want to listen to the bloody news see what I mean anyway that's that's I and obviously I've got loads and loads of erotic art that I've done and loads and loads of um erotic selfies when I was doing the Domin artist projects and um I mean they weren't erotic they weren't supposed to be erotic they were supposed to be um freakishly scary but they it turned out they were just erotic really because again they would just look through this lens of um the male gaze of of you know my my the the male gaze is the one that matters and they know it men know that their gaze matters that's why they'll say to you why don't why don't you wear such and such such you know etc etc um that's why they judge women all the time on what they what they look like what they're wearing because they have the power and the power of the male gays is so [ __ ] prevalent and sometimes you know what sometimes I just think I want to wear a Burker because I'm so sick of it but but you know obviously I can't wear a bur her it would be a be appropriation but B nobody would look at my work I was watching this documentary the other day what was his name the the Chic dude I can't think what what they called him was it the invisible Chic something like that anyway he was a journalist and he was always invisible um they never photographed him and he got a reputation for this and I just thought I wonder if I wonder if you could do that even if you were a woman and you know I mean some artists a few artists have tried it haven't they um the one beginning I've forgotten what her name is the one who never showed her face but she's gone to showing her face now I mean you know people have tried it and now you know the the new thing with my sign which is the winged logo I quite like using that everywhere but I just don't get any attention unless someone can look at me um and and you start to think well I guess I'm going to have to let everyone look at me so I got really pissed off this morning um or the other day at the start of the week I just privatized every video that I ever made I've got thousands on YouTube thousands of videos um but I've I've made public a lot of them today because my views and Subs I lost subscribers right I lost 25% of views in a day um you know and so it goes on and also um my my downloads on my podcast which is linked to YouTube plummeted it's like oh bloody hell well you know you can't have that I mean how are you going to succeed as an artist if you don't let everybody look and Voyer you'll you'll practice the things you make obviously the way you make them Who You Are you know people want to invest in the painter unfor I wish I was a man I really do I wish I was watching Picasso documentary the other day and you know Picasso was this man with this huge erotic potent you know prowess um and even when he was in his 90s 80s or 90s he was producing erotic work and was adored and I produced erotic work and I just get Shadow baned on Google it's like oh for [ __ ] sake you know but you know that Picasso was a a a dominant he was a an alpha male um and the stature of him W which was about his work I mean don't get me wrong his work some of the work is utterly brilliant just beautiful so I'm not knocking it um anyway to cut a long story short I'm I'm sifting through all the the YouTube stuff and making public for a little while longer um all all this the sort of new stuff and the old stuff that got loads of views so um yeah I've completely u-turned in a week but hello gorgeous are you going to beave do you know what he he starts to misbehave when I'm trying to do a podcast anyway look I've got it's really good that you're here it's really good that you're listening I do a podcast I do a film Channel I make little videos but if you want to see more of the juicy stuff you're going to have to sign up to my um tail tail dash. club or isand.com website you can sign up and just it's kind of more of the same really but I guess a little bit more in depth I don't really want to display my whole soul my naked soul on YouTube and anyway they Shadow ban me so um yeah there we go um yeah bye