Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.

Researchers at a cosmetic surgery group have declared Prince William the World’s Sexiest Bald Man. Outraged by the snubbing Vin Diesel is requesting a recount.

A brain is disease popping up in California’s bear population which makes the black bears unafraid of humans. This is especially worrisome for black bears that interact with police.

Officials are warning callers to be on the lookout for calls that use a four-word phrase as it can be dangerous. That four word phrase is “We need to talk.”

President Biden’s German shepherds are being accused of pooping in the White House hallways. Reporters were disgusted by the incident but said it’s better than being bitten as they tried to poop in the White House bathroom.

Jill Biden pulled an April Fools' Day prank on the media and her staff. It turns out she was the one pooping on the White House floor.

A team of archeologists has discovered that people were collecting crystals over 105 thousand years ago. They also found that they were just as annoying as the ones who collect crystals today.

Students in Burlington, Vermont, are now attending high school in a former Macy’s department store inside the mall. School officials say there’s no better way for them to truly understand how capitalism works.

These are the jokes for April 5, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.