Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.

Space Force Lieutenant Colonel Matthew Lohmeier was fired after he made comments on a conservative podcast. The comments included praise of Space X, verifying aliens exist, and that Space Force is just a bad show on Netflix.

North Carolina Police solved a rash of crimes after the Thief got a flat tire causing him to be hit by 18-wheeler. Police were happy they only had to semi-solve the crime.

A recent study asked people what animals they thought they could beat in a fight with many overestimating they could take a goose. The results also showed that men thought they could take down gorillas, bears, and their mother in laws. In other news UFC President Dana White has announced his newest fighting league titled the Animal Fighting Championship.

A woman was left dismayed after her neighbor accused her of forcing her son to eat “ethnic food”. When asked what ethnic food her son could have, the woman stated, None, he only eats Pizza Hut, Panda Express, or Taco Bell.

A diver in Australia spotted a fish wearing a gold wedding ring. The diver was excited that he had finally seen a goldfish in the wild.

A new species of dinosaur identified by Mexican paleontologists is believed to have been "very communicative" and used low-frequency sounds like elephants to talk to each other. The dinosaurs were not known to have lived long as they talked so much their social life became extinct.

These are the jokes for May 17, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.