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A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner...
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A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hours
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts
https://survivngbpdbreakup.com
https://survivingaborderline.com
https://codependency.ca
show less
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hours
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts
https://survivngbpdbreakup.com
https://survivingaborderline.com
https://codependency.ca
Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Counsellor & Coach A.J. MahariEpisodes & Posts
Episodes
Posts
Transcribed
6 DEC 2025 · Misunderstanding BPD Intensity as Love
So many partners and ex-partners of people with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder mistake the early intensity for love—because it feels overwhelming, consuming, and deeply validating. In this episode, I gently guide you through why Borderline emotional flooding gets misinterpreted as intimacy, connection, or destiny.
You’ll learn why intensity is not love, why emotional dysregulation masquerades as passion, and why the early idealization phase feels so powerful to codependents, and trauma survivors. This episode helps you understand the fantasy bond, the rapid trauma-attachment cycle, and the heartbreaking confusion that keeps so many people stuck long after the relationship ends.
This teaching is here to bring clarity, compassion, and truth—so you can reclaim yourself and begin to heal.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
5 DEC 2025 · BPD Hypersexuality Is Self-Soothing And You are The Bandage
In this episode, we explore the misunderstood and often painful dynamic of Borderline hypersexuality—not as “promiscuity,” not as a moral failure, but as an attempt to self-soothe overwhelming internal distress. I walk you through why so many people with BPD turn to sexual intensity to regulate shame, emptiness, terror of abandonment, and the desperate need to feel momentarily wanted or alive.
You’ll learn how hypersexual behaviour becomes a survival strategy, not a genuine expression of love or intimacy—and why partners often confuse this intensity for connection. We’ll look at the underlying trauma, dysregulated attachment, and the fragmented self that drive this behaviour, and how these patterns affect those who love someone with untreated BPD.
This episode is especially helpful for codependents, survivors of BPD relationships, and anyone trying to make sense of why sexual intensity felt fused to love, validation, or bonding—only to later feel discarded, confused, or emotionally injured. With compassion and clarity, we break down the psychological mechanisms at play so you can understand what happened, reclaim your sense of reality, and begin healing from the confusion of trauma-bonded intimacy.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
28 OCT 2025 · Why BPD Relationships Fail - Repetition Compulsions Projection and Projective Identification
In this episode, A.J. Mahari explains how unconscious repetition compulsions, projection, and BPD projective identification keep people with Borderline Personality Disorder trapped in painful relational cycles. You’ll learn how early trauma shapes perception, how partners become stand-ins for abandoning or abusive parents, and how projective identification pulls loved ones into the Borderline’s emotional world. This compassionate deep dive helps you understand what’s really happening beneath the chaos — and how awareness can finally break the cycle of reenacting the past which cannot stop or change until and unless each person with BPD is treated for 8-16 years in a psychodynamic modality of treatment because DBT is not a recovery modality for BPD.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
12 OCT 2025 · Borderline Induced Conversations - When Talking Turns Into Trauma for Codependents
When you try to talk to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and the conversation suddenly turns emotional, chaotic, or painful — you’re not communicating. You’re in an induced conversation.
In this episode, A.J. Mahari explains how Borderlines and Codependents unconsciously pull each other into trauma-based emotional loops that feel like connection but are actually dysregulation. You’ll learn what’s really happening in your nervous system, why you keep getting drawn back in, and how to finally step out of these trauma-bonded “talks” that never resolve anything and never bring peace.
In this podcast episode:
What an induced conversation really is
How Borderlines project pain and Codependents absorb it
The nervous-system collision behind emotional chaos
Why calm feels unsafe after trauma
How to end the cycle and reclaim your peace
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
11 OCT 2025 · Borderline Love a Looping Trap of Deception
Borderline Love is a looping trap of deception rooted in fantasy, betrayal, false hope, and trauma bonded dynamics of pseudo attachment and the Borderline idealization trap of deception (conscious or unconscious). People with BPD deceive boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, the favorite person, friends and family members as well as themselves.
People with Borderline Personality do not know who they are. They do not know how to relate to you as separate from their own internal dysregulated and emotionally immature "lack of self". "Love and/or attachment" believed to be given by a person with BPD or received by a Codependent is an emotional deception and a trap.
https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - A.J's Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast & Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
20 SEP 2025 · The Invisible Borderline Man - Why Women Don't See Him Coming
The invisible Borderline man. Why is he so invisible? Are men diagnosed properly enough with BPD - the answer is no. This doesn't help in many cases. Why do so many women fail to recognize the signs of a man with Borderline Personality Disorder until they are already deeply involved? In this episode, I explore The Invisible Borderline Man — the subtle ways BPD traits show up in men and why women often don’t see him coming.
I'll look at how cultural expectations, hidden patterns, and codependent conditioning blind women to the early red flags. By understanding these dynamics, you’ll learn how to protect yourself from being pulled into a relationship built on chaos, trauma bonding, and false hope.
https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Blog
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
15 SEP 2025 · Borderline man unmasked
The Borderline Man Unmasked. Yes, men have BPD too! It is important that women learn more about the many ways the 'Borderline Man' does differ from women with BPD. There are many overlaps but men with BPD do often endanger women more than most BPD women physically endanger men (though some women with BPD are physically dangerous especially with a weapon).
Women need to unlearn what many young girls learn in childhood about being maternal. Women need to heal their wounds from childhood that sees maternal instincts and nurture be engulfed by Codependency.
https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Blog
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
15 SEP 2025 · The Broken BPD Man Fantasy
The Broken BPD Man Fantasy is very real for women. Yes, men have Borderline Personality Disorder too! Countless numbers of women suffer with men with BPD in those trauma bonded relationships. Gay men are also suffering in relationships with men with BPD.
This is part one of 3 podcast episode series focusing on Borderline Men for the women who get into dating and relationships with BPD men that they can't see coming.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
13 SEP 2025 · BPD Love Legacy of Doubt 5 Reasons Closure is An Illusion]
BPD Love leaves a legacy of doubt. There are 5 main reasons why closure is an illusion during or after a BPD Breakup, ghos6 and/or discard. People who have been in a relationship or dating someone with BPD desperately want to understand and when necessary find closure. People with BPD (especially untreated) do not do closure. If you continue to try to get closure you will only be strengthening the trauma bond.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
Transcribed
8 SEP 2025 · Quiet BPD 10 Reasons It Destroys Relationships
Quiet BPD 10 reasons it destroys relationships. Often people in a relationship with someone with Quiet BPD, also known as the Discouraged BPD Subtype, it can take quite a while to understand that your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife has Quiet BPD. People with Quiet BPD internalize most, if not all of their splitting, fear of abandonment, push/pull, relational issues etc and often partners think that the "problem" is they just drink too much, or they just are hot and cold. Identifying that a person with Quiet BPD in your life actually has Borderline Personality can be difficult and the off/on ghosting cycles of many Quiet Borderlines can be so confusing. Quiet BPD is not someone being "less Borderline" or having BPD only mildly.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soon
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube Feed
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner...
show more
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hours
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts
https://survivngbpdbreakup.com
https://survivingaborderline.com
https://codependency.ca
show less
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hours
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts
https://survivngbpdbreakup.com
https://survivingaborderline.com
https://codependency.ca
Information
| Author | Counsellor & Coach A.J. Mahari |
| Organization | Counsellor A.J. Mahari |
| Categories | Mental Health , Relationships , Self-Improvement |
| Website | ajmahari.ca |
| ajmaharipodcasts@gmail.com |
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