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A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner...
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A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
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Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Counsellor & Coach A.J. MahariEpisodes & Posts
Episodes
Posts
Transcribed
23 APR 2025 · Lost Yourself To A Borderline?
Have you lost yourself to Borderline? A partner, Ex partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, or person close to you with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you aware of Codependency? Are you learning any helpful lessons?
One man blames God, calling him a "farce" after a relationship with a woman, who "trapped him into her getting pregnant" and now thinks the "farce relationship" was his relationship to and with God, when it was really the BPD relationship. This man whose comments I respond to also thinks, now, that God can't exists because Borderlines exist.
Whether you can relate or not to this man's blaming God instead of the person with BPD and taking his small piece of personal responsibility or not please listen to see if you can relate and substitute your own lostness and feeling separated by something you valued in your life and/or about yourself before the devastation of the BPD relationship.
ajmahari.ca/sessions
survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Transcribed
17 MAR 2025 · BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
BPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationship
creates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable sense
of self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". After
the person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not ever
be able to be re-idealized.
People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally
hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness)
feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your sense
of self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation start
happening.
If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusing
intensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginning
and how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feels
next to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capture
the elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who you
thought the person with BPD was.
https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Blog
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
Transcribed
14 MAR 2025 · Borderline Betrayal and Its Insidious Impact on You
Borderline betrayal and its negative, painful impact on you.
Anyone close to any person with BPD will experience Borderline
Betrayal and the very real consequences to "self" that result from
BPD betrayal.
People with Codependency have a suggestible enough core wound
that the impact of Borderline betrayal causes untold damage,
rumination, cognitive dissonance, self-abandonment, and often longing
for the person with BPD who betrayed you to still be in relationship with you
or needing so badly to understand, to not feel like everything was your fault.
The immense struggle of lack of closure also takes its toll in more cases than not.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
12 MAR 2025 · BPD Awareness Can't Save Relationships
BPD awareness can't save relationships and doesn't mean changed behaviour (spelling Canadian now :) When a person with BPD has
intellectual awareness and can even talk about things at times, too many partners get fooled. Why fooled? Because too many people think that BPD awareness means "they get it" they can change. But emotionally, they don't get it. Whenever a person with BPD is triggered that awareness is lost and behaviour and lack of personal responsibility keep happening.
BPD awareness without therapy can't save relationships and doesn't translate into actual change or better relating or any increased understanding of how they effect others. Codependents often feel more fantasy false hope believing that what a person with BPD can say intellectually, between episodes means "hope" for change and the relationship - sadly, this is not true.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
22 FEB 2025 · BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?
A commenter asks how could my BPD Ex be fine in a relationship for 4 years and suddenly be so unstable? Is a person with BPD stable in a relationship until they aren't? A BPD Ex compares his ex to Sherri Papini - any similarity to a thought to be "stable" partner who then suddenly shows how unstable they are? Does the length of a relationship with someone BPD have anything to do with whether or not they have stability? People with BPD are not emotionally stable people.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is included in the top 100 Relationship Podcasts on Feedspot at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
9 FEB 2025 · Borderlines Are Not Relationship Worthy
Borderlines are not relationship worthy. They lack a self, have no object constancy and have relational and communication deficits. People with BPD feel very unworthy. They struggle without a known "self" to have any positive regard for "self" or "other". People with BPD often really don't like themselves and this is projected out on to anyone that gets close until a person with BPD can't cope with being close.
People with BPD need extensive therapy in a psychodynamic modality of treatment that takes years so that they can find the lost "self" and among other things, develop and nurture their own self-worth first
.
Codependents also struggle with their own self-worth and need to learn in their healing and recovery that they are worth more than settling for a one-sided 'situationship' with someone with BPD. You deserve to be consistently seen and heard!
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is rated in the Top 100 Relationship Podcasts on feedspot.net - https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
8 FEB 2025 · BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your Fault
BPD breakup, ghosting, or discard is not your fault. People with suspected BPD, diagnosed BPD untreated (or not fully treated) can't stop the ghosting or discards and neither can you. People with BPD often feel out of control in relationships and people with Codependency try to help, rescue, fic and change them. They need years of therapy that they would fully engage in to ever be able to have a healthy, age-appropriate relationships with healthy communication. It takes years of therapy for people with BPD to unlearn maladaptive defenses - namely splitting and all-or-nothing thinking along with not taking everything personally and to build and create a container of self. No matter how many times you recycle as a Codependent with an untreated person with BPD nothing can change. Each relationship recycle you just experience more and more of the same.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
26 JAN 2025 · BPD Relationship Rollercoaster Causes Codependent Rumination Need For Closure
Blocking Recovery
BPD relationship rollercoaster causes Codependent rumination and need for closure to be so strong that this becomes a major block to breaking the fantasy bond with a Borderline Ex and people healing from the relationship and from Codependency. Each and every Borderline episode that leads to splitting to devaluation and blaming of a partner causes partners or loved ones in any relationship type to ruminate, and need closure, episode after episode through an entire relationship - not just after the breakup, ghosting, or BPD discard.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This Podcast's New Interactive Website
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
20 JAN 2025 · Borderline Projection Through an Eternal Victim Lens
Borderline Projection onto friends, partners, Ex's, etc comes from his or her eternal victim lens and persona. The false self exists to protect the victimized borderline lose self. There is no excuse for BPD abuse because a high percentage of them were SA's in childhood, not given love, not taught any coping skills. These childhoods are often tragic. But, another core reality in Codependents trying to rescue, fix, and change the borderline to make a relationship work is that they are still emotionally young child-like victims of the lost self.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/
Transcribed
18 JAN 2025 · Two Codependents in Relationship After Previous Cluster B Relationships & Counter-Dependency
This is Epidsode 9 From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships Podcast
Can two people both be Codependent in a relationship years after each had a BPD or NPD relationship with an Ex? A commenter asked if two people can be Codependent in a relationship with each other and can both manifest codependency more as counter-dependency when each person in the relationship has had a previous Cluster B relationship?
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner...
show more
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
show less
Information
| Author | Counsellor & Coach A.J. Mahari |
| Organization | Counsellor A.J. Mahari |
| Categories | Mental Health , Relationships , Self-Improvement |
| Website | - |
| ajmaharipodcasts@gmail.com |
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